You learn in personal development that life is a journey, not a destination.
Laughter is so very important in personal development. Check this out, I found it hysterical especially since my wife was a former flight attendant. It’s also very refreshing to find a company with a sense of humor. Make sure you also read all the crew comments after the pictures.
Kulula is a low-cost South-African airline that doesn’t take itself too seriously.
Kulula is an Airline with it’s head office situated in Johannesburg. Kulula airline attendants make an effort to make the in-flight “safety lecture” and announcements a bit more entertaining. Here are some real examples that have been heard or reported:
On a Kulula flight, (there is no assigned seating, you just sit where you want) passengers were apparently having a hard time choosing, when a flight attendant announced, “People, people we’re not picking out furniture here, find a seat and get in it!”
—o0o—
On another flight with a very “senior” flight attendant crew, the pilot said, “Ladies and gentlemen, we’ve reached cruising altitude and will be turning down the cabin lights. This is for your comfort and to enhance the appearance of your flight attendants.”
—-o0o—
On landing, the stewardess said, “Please be sure to take all of your belongings. If you’re going to leave anything, please make sure it’s something we’d like to have.”
—-o0o—
“There may be 50 ways to leave your lover, but there are only 4 ways out of this airplane.”
—o0o—
“Thank you for flying Kulula. We hope you enjoyed giving us the business as much as we enjoyed taking you for a ride.”
—o0o—
As the plane landed and was coming to a stop at Durban Airport, a lone voice came over the loudspeaker: “Whoa, big fella. WHOA!”
—o0o—
After a particularly rough landing during thunderstorms in theKaroo, a flight attendant on a flight announced, “Please take care when opening the overhead compartments because, after a landing like that, sure as hell everything has shifted.”
—o0o—
From a Kulula employee: ” Welcome aboard Kulula 271 toPort Elizabeth. To operate your seat belt, insert the metal tab into the buckle, and pull tight. It works just like every other seat belt; and, if you don’t know how to operate one, you probably shouldn’t be out in public unsupervised.”
—o0o—
“In the event of a sudden loss of cabin pressure, masks will descend from the ceiling. Stop screaming, grab the mask, and pull it over your face. If you have a small child travelling with you, secure your mask before assisting with theirs. If you are travelling with more than one small child, pick your favourite.”
—o0o—
Weather at our destination is 50 degrees with some broken clouds, but we’ll try to have them fixed before we arrive. Thank you, and remember, nobody loves you, or your money, more than Kulula Airlines.”
—-o0o—
“Your seats cushions can be used for flotation; and in the event of an emergency water landing, please paddle to shore and take them with our compliments.”
—o0o—
“As you exit the plane, make sure to gather all of your belongings. Anything left behind will be distributed evenly among the flight attendants. Please do not leave children or spouses.”
—o0o—
And from the pilot during his welcome message: “Kulula Airlines is pleased to announce that we have some of the best flight attendants in the industry. Unfortunately, none of them are on this flight!”
—o0o—
Heard on Kulula 255 just after a very hard landing in Cape Town: The flight attendant came on the intercom and said, “That was quite a bump and I know what y’all are thinking. I’m here to tell you it wasn’t the airline’s fault, it wasn’t the pilot’s fault, it wasn’t the flight attendant’s fault, it was the asphalt.”
—o0o—
Overheard on a Kulula flight into Cape Town, on a particularly windy and bumpy day: During the final approach, the Captain really had to fight it. After an extremely hard landing, the Flight Attendant said, “Ladies and Gentlemen, welcome to The Mother City. Please remain in your seats with your seat belts fastened while the Captain taxis what’s left of our airplane to the gate!”
—o0o—
Another flight attendant’s comment on a less than perfect landing:
“We ask you to please remain seated as Captain Kangaroo bounces us to the terminal.”
—o0o—
An airline pilot wrote that on this particular flight he had hammered his ship into the runway really hard. The airline had a policy which required the first officer to stand at the door while the passengers exited, smile, and give them a “Thanks for flying our airline. He said that, in light of his bad landing, he had a hard time looking the passengers in the eye, thinking that someone would have a smart comment.
Finally everyone had gotten off except for a little old lady walking with a cane. She said, “Sir, do you mind if I ask you a question?”
“Why, no Ma’am,” said the pilot. “What is it?” The little old lady said,
“Did we land, or were we shot down?”
—o0o—
After a real crusher of a landing in Johannesburg, the attendant came on with, “Ladies and Gentlemen, please remain in your seats until Captain Crash and the Crew have brought the aircraft to a screeching halt against the gate. And, once the tire smoke has cleared and the warning bells are silenced, we will open the door and you can pick your way through the wreckage to the terminal..”
—o0o—
Part of a flight attendant’s arrival announcement: “We’d like to thank you folks for flying with us today.. And, the next time you get the insane urge to go blasting through the skies in a pressurized metal tube, we hope you’ll think of Kulula Airways.”
—o0o—
Heard on a Kulula flight. “Ladies and gentlemen, if you wish to smoke, the smoking section on this airplane is on the wing. If you can light ’em, you can smoke ‘em.”
—o0o—
A plane was taking off from Durban Airport. After it reached a comfortable cruising altitude, the captain made an announcement over the intercom, “Ladies and gentlemen, this is your captain speaking. Welcome to Flight Number 293, non-stop from Durban to Cape Town , The weather ahead is good and, therefore, we should have a smooth and uneventful flight. Now sit back and relax… OH, MY GOODNESS!”
Silence followed, and after a few minutes, the captain came back on the intercom and said, “Ladies and Gentlemen, I am so sorry if I scared you earlier. While I was talking to you, the flight attendant accidentally spilled a cup of hot coffee in my lap. You should see the front of my pants!” A passenger then yelled, “That’s nothing. You should see the back of mine!”
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“We all see and experience the World, not as it is but as we are!”
Thanks for sharing. Its a great post!
Hi Monika. Finally able to get to your post as i replied to you on Facebook. Yes the lady with the cane was my fav as well.
Thanks for your comments,
Michael
In my world, to be funny means to be remembered fondly. So… Michael, you can be sure I’ll remember you and your truly very funny post for a long time. Great job branding your name and Kulula and their uniquely personable personnel into my mind! As for the passengers, the little old lady with the cane tickled me pink
Thanks!
I too love to laugh Jerome. Sometimes we all tend to take life too seriously. I’m glad I was able to enlighten your dsy.
Thanks so much for your comments,
Michael
Thanks for this.
I was laughing my rear off.
Sometimes giving out a good laugh can really shift your spirits. When you’re down, find something good to laugh about and you’ll FEEL so much better afterward.
I like watching a funny movie or just watching my four year twin kids play, they are very funny.
Take care,
Jerome Ratliff
Thank you LeeAnn for your comments. I used to fly Southwest years ago and I do remember there being some pretty funny flight attendants.
Thanks again,
Michael
I REALLY enjoyed this post!!!! Flying makes me nervous so I think if other airlines had more fun like this is would tend to break the tension and allow people to relax a little more
I have been on a Southwest flight and there were some funny flight attendants, but the quotes above beat them all!!! Thanks for sharing!
Yes you do Robin. I find them to be very similar to the Aussies.
Thanks for your comment,
Michael
Gotta love the South African humor!
Thanks for sharing Michael!
Robin
I like this very much. “J’aime beaucoup” like we says in French.
Another great post! I shared this one on Facebook – you should add a “like” button to your posts.
Sorry Jeffrey I’ve been having problems with that myself. I’ve submitted a support ticket but have not heard back from them yet. Thanks for being patient.
Michael
I’m glad you enjoyed it Bruce.
Michael
this site is just awesome! isnt it?
Michael…very fun read. I appreciate you sharing!
If they were to fly med-long haul again, what should be the ideal network ?
Just dropping a comment on how good the layout of your site is, been looking into making a blog similar to yours and might make mine similar, did you hire a coder or did you design it yourself?
Hey, nice blog with good info. I really like coming back here often. There?s only one thing that annoys me and that is the misfunctioning of comment posting. I usually get to 500 error page, and have to do the post twice. – In the first place God made idiots; that was for practice; then he made school boards. – Mark Twain 1835 – 1910
I loved your blog article. Keep writing.
I’ve read some good stuff here. Definitely worth bookmarking for revisiting.
Thanks Maggie for your comments.
Michael
This was a great post!
Love it. Lets not take it too seriously.